Archive for March 5th, 2014


There’s an element of seduction to every sale. It’s not a one-to-one parallel, of course — any probate lawyer playing “flirty and fun” is apt to lose business — but there are elements common to each. And they’re worth learning from.

One of these is feigned disinterest. In the parlance of attraction/affection, it’s “playing hard to get.” We’ve made up a new term for marketing purposes. It’s called “unselling.”

Unselling is everything you do and say that seems to contradict your selling motive. It’s telling people, “our product is not for everyone.” It’s telling yourself, “we’re going to sell a few things to a few people,” instead of “we’re going to sell everything to everyone.” And it’s seductive, because it creates the illusion that you don’t need your prospects. Rather, they need you.

Imagine a recruiter who tells her candidate, “don’t take the job I’m offering. Sure, it pays more, but I don’t want you to have to move across the country. You should stay where you are.” Suddenly, the candidate is chasing her. She’s in a much more powerful position to negotiate.

Stop trying so hard. Let the client fall in love with you.

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